How product managers can give—and get—quality peer feedback
My top tips for giving peer feedback that’s actually helpful and becoming a feedback magnet yourself.
Leah Reitz
Learning, Development, & Inclusion Program Manager at Coda
How product managers can give—and get—quality peer feedback
By Leah Reitz
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When I take stock of the best and most respected product managers (PMs) I’ve worked with, there’s one thing that unites them: they are great participants in feedback cycles, both as generous givers and magnetic receivers. They know that good person-to-person feedback helps them learn and develop, deepen relationships, and glean direction on areas to improve. As an HR leader, I coach all kinds of managers—both people and product—on the ways they can leverage feedback to accelerate execution and engage their teams. From de-biasing performance feedback at scale, to spending 1:1 time with a leader to tease out a tough feedback message, I’ve seen how being intentional about giving quality feedback and showing up empathetically can make an impact at all altitudes. “Feedbacking” isn’t easy and can be especially tricky for PMs. As the strategic coordinator of a product, PMs have visibility into a lot of the work done by people they aren’t directly managing. And many people on the team have insight into what they’re doing too but may not be incentivized to share that with them. Product managers know team relationships matter just as much as the technical bits and are often working against a launch clock that makes juggling both difficult. Here are some concrete steps you can take to make your interpersonal feedback more meaningful, from giving to attracting and receiving quality feedback.
How to give quality peer feedback.
As a PM, you’re likely constantly giving feedback on the mechanical aspects of your products—the designs, the tech behind them, how they’re performing based on the data you’re collecting, and so on. When it’s a human you’re giving feedback to, my advice is to be as specific as you would be with something technical but with the empathy you would use toward a friend asking how they looked in a new outfit. First, what does “quality” mean? Quality feedback is feedback the receiver can actually use. Put yourself in the shoes of a designer on your team. Which of these two affirming feedback examples do you think they would rather receive from you?- Love working with you on these designs!
- I see that you took the notes from our last crit and made changes to the mockups. You followed up with me to clarify what I meant about the data I shared and then turned around the changes quickly. It’s making my job easier to do and freeing up my time to solve more problems. Thanks and keep it up!
Focused on facts and observations, not assumptions
What did you see or hear?
Behavioral and specific
What is the feedback receiver actually doing or accomplishing?
Actionable
What can the feedback receiver do with this information you are giving them?
Organizationally aligned
How is the feedback receiver’s behavior related to our company goals, product, and/or values?
Centered on impact
What is the result of the feedback receiver’s behavior?
Timely
What moments are you reflecting on? Are they recent?
4 tips for sharing feedback.
1. Know your audience.
The best way to give feedback is however your receiver would like to hear it. How do you find that out? You ask them! I’d recommend that any PM should build partnerships with their design, engineering, data, and ops counterparts by investing some time up front to get to know them, build a little trust, and ask the question: “How would you like me to give you feedback?” Also, let them know how you want them to give you feedback. For a quick template on designing alliances, check out this 1:1 doc.2. Ask for permission first.
And respect the wishes of the receiver. While timeliness is important, let the receiver put themself in a place where they are prepared to actually hear the message. A simple “Can I share an observation with you?” and space for the answer will ensure that they are ready to hear what you have to share.3. Name your discomfort.
Especially if it’s critical feedback. Not sure how the receiver will take it? Unsure you have the perfect words? Let your receiver in on that vulnerability and create the space for this to be a human connection. For example, you could say: “I’m nervous to share this with you because we are new to working together and I don’t know how this will land.” If you have something particularly spicy or think it might hurt the receiver’s feelings, practicing what you want to say a couple of times beforehand can help. I love it when PMs come to me asking if they can run through a potentially difficult feedback conversation before they have it.4. Be clear, direct, and kind in your delivery.
If you have something critical to share, resist the urge to couch your feedback with insincere praise that you only kind of mean. Once you have someone’s consent to give feedback, and you’ve level set with them where you are coming from, deliver your SBI-grounded insight with them as directly and clearly as you can. Once you’ve delivered the message, open it up to them by asking an open question like “What’s your reaction to this?” or “How does this sound to you?” Give them space to reflect with you or come back to follow up. Always end by thanking them for their time.4 tips for receiving feedback.
In my experience, there’s one thing that turns great PMs who give specific and actionable feedback into rockstar PMs who everyone is dying to work with: Getting good at both receiving and asking for feedback. Here’s how you can be someone people enjoy having feedback conversations with:1. Prepare yourself.
Adopt a growth mindset. You weren’t born a PM. Something that is difficult for you right now won’t always be. You can learn new skills and adapt behaviors. While you are at it, get to know yourself—particularly your defense mechanisms. When do you find yourself most activated at work? Take a deep breath before reading written feedback or jumping into a conversation.2. Get curious.
Imagine your engineering counterpart just shared how your weekly updates are putting the team to sleep. Turn any defensiveness you might feel into curiosity. Before reacting to the feedback, ask a question like “Can you tell me more about this?” or “What do you mean when you say...?” Other questions could be: “Can you share another example with me?” “What do you think I might be missing?” or “What do you think I can do differently?” Resist the urge to explain yourself and instead, repeat back what you heard.This will give your brain some time to calm down any flight or fight response that might be bubbling up. And it will help you process and understand, so you’re aligned on the message from your giver. As with giving, don’t forget to say thank you (even if you disagree!). This shows that you value the relationship and the feedback, and will make them more likely to give feedback again in the future.3. Reflect.
Separate your performance from your personhood. Even if the feedback feels personal, or wasn’t focused on your behavior and impact, don’t take it personally. Now that you’ve been given this gift of feedback, what’s your roadmap for integrating it into how you operate? If you agree with it, determine what actions you will take as result and make a plan. And if you disagree? Try to think through what it is you disagree with and why you disagree. Could there be a defense mechanism or a lack of understanding in play? Are there any nuggets that might help you develop?4. Ask for more.
The best PMs are feedback magnets. Show you’re serious about feedback by asking for it often. When you do ask, optimize your chances of getting feedback by making it as easy as possible for the giver. Pick people who directly experiencethe process or outcome of your work. Prioritize an area of focus for them, and then make your prompt clear, brief, and specific.You don’t need to get a full performance write-up, so let your giver know that. Engineers and designers will have different perspectives—get them both and tailor your ask to each.Let quality feedback feed your growth mindset.
At Coda, we nurture a culture of continuous feedback, giving it kindly and directly, and iterating on our process as we go. We see our collective growth mindset as one of our biggest strengths and specific, empathetic feedback as our not-so-secret weapon. I hope these tips help you do the same. To sum it up:- Quality feedback is specific and actionable, rooted in observation and fact, and directly tied to outcomes.
- Curiosity > defensiveness when it comes to receiving feedback.
- Become a feedback magnet by making it as easy as possible for folks to give it to you.