Receiving Feedback

TL;DR

Feedback is a gift that can help us grow... and critical feedback can trigger doubts in the most vulnerable parts of ourselves. Take a deep breath before jumping into reading or discussing feedback, leverage your growth mindset, ask questions and separate your performance from your identity.

When receiving feedback, particularly the critical kind...

Prepare

Adopt a growth mindset. This is a maker superpower! Something that is difficult for you right now won’t always be. You can learn new skills and adapt new behaviors.

Get to know yourself and your defense mechanisms. Take a deep breath before reading written feedback or jumping into a conversation.

Ask

Turn any defensiveness into curiosity.

Before reacting to the feedback, ask a question like “Can you tell me more?” or “What do you mean when you say...?”

Some more questions to ask

Can you share an example with me?

What has been the impact on you?

Can you tell me more about your experience?

What do you think I may be missing?

What could I do differently next time?

Repeat back what you heard. This helps you process and understand, and ensures that you are aligned on the message from your giver.

Reflect

Express gratitude. Emphasizes that you value the feedback and makes it more likely for you to get it in the future

Separate your performance from your personhood. Even if the feedback feels personal, or wasn’t focused on your behavior and impact, don’t take it personally.

Agree with the feedback? Determine what actions you will take as result and make a plan.

Disagree with the feedback? Think through why you disagree. Could there be a defense mechanism or a lack of understanding in play? Are there any nuggets that might help you develop?

Share your feedback receiving preferences

Reflect on how you prefer to receive feedback and share with your manager and team. Would you prefer it be written down? Shared aloud? In the moment or after the fact? It may not always be possible to deliver in this manner, but a guide will help.

Unclear, unfair, or hurtful feedback

As much as we hope people can find helpful messages in all feedback, if you receive feedback that you feel is unfair or hurtful, reach out to your manager or to People Ops to discuss.

If it’s hard for you to receive affirming feedback...

Practice saying thank you (and nothing else!)

Questions?

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Questions

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TL;DR

When receiving feedback, particularly the critical kind...

Prepare

Ask

Reflect

Share your feedback receiving preferences

Unclear, unfair, or hurtful feedback

If it’s hard for you to receive affirming feedback...

Questions?

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